Dear D,

I hear you about flights from Hawaii. I've never seen so many ice chests wrapped in duct tape used as luggage. And I’m so sorry your little guy was THAT kid. On the way back from Kailua we were sitting in front of THAT family. They actually reminded me of you and your brood, which is the only reason they’re still alive today.

Speaking of babies, why do complete strangers feel free to tell me that I "must" have children? First of all, they don’t know my family history. They need to be careful what they ask for. Second, maybe I’m an expert at tuck jobs. They have no idea what’s underneath my skirt. I was once confused for a man over the telephone.

Most recently, it was a 26 year-old Algerian man in my French discussion group who lectured me about babies. When the discussion leader returned and asked if there were a particular topic we’d like to discuss, the guy said he’d like to talk about women who don’t want children. And the only reason he’s still alive today is because he looked like Jordan Knight from NKOTB. The school girl in me gave him a pass.

Love, A