Dear D,

You’ve come to the right person for help. While I’m not in Demi Moore’s league, F is a youngling. The four year age difference hasn’t seemed like much over the years, probably because I’m incredibly immature, but as I approach my 40th birthday I’ve noticed there’s something about this number that makes the difference seem more obvious. It’s easier to do math with round numbers I suppose. It doesn’t help that younger women are showing an interest in my husband. We have a case of “Poison Ivy” on our hands in Texas. My sister informed me that my soon-to-be 16 year old niece thinks F is “hot” and goes around the house saying “Uncle F, grrrrr . . .” (allegedly just to make my sister uncomfortable; she’s inherited my inappropriate sense of humor). Anyway, if you really want to know if you’re a cougar, I suggest a visit to Paris. Last month when my (older) sister was here, she met several men, the average age being 25. It was a bit of a blow to my ego. I’ve lived here 4 years and think I’ve been approached twice. The most recent occurred two weeks ago. A man on the sidewalk stopped me to ask if I’d like to join him for a drink. I was in such shock, and laughed so hard that some snot came out of my nose. (It was chilly and I was getting over a cold.) Needless to say, he looked relieved when I told him I was on my way to meet my husband and declined his offer. In the cat world, I’m a spayed, domestic with mange.

Love, A